Letterman, Nov23, 2000

David Letterman Our next guest stars on the popular and critically-acclaimed television program, Felicity. Here she is, the very lovely Keri Russell. Wearing a backless spaghetti-strapped beige/flesh top, a long flowing vertical-striped-looking colorful skirt, brown boots, and gold bangles, the young actress comes out and shakes hands with Dave before sitting down.

DL Happy, happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for being here. Are you freezing? There is nothing to this dress!

Keri Russell I'm alright...

DL I mean...the back just drops out of it!

KR Yeah, I'm alright.

DL Let me know if you're getting chilly. I'll loan you my jacket.

KR I'm a little -- I'm alright. No, I'm not chilly, I'm a little nervous. Are you okay? I just heard about obscenities. Is it okay that I'm here?

DL Yes, I won't scream obscenities at you!

KR Okay, that's fine.

DL Unless something goes haywire. Did you see anything? Do you know anything about that? Richard Simmons? You know who he is?

KR No, just rumors...

DL Do you know how he is?

KR Yeah...yeah...

DL He's very annoying. Keri laughs

DL And...and...he wouldn't take off his turkey costume. The only thing he wanted to talk about was how he wanted to kiss me.

KR It was hard for you.

DL It wasn't hard for me. I'm just tired of that sort of thing from Richard Simmons. Now for example, if that's what you wanted to talk about, fine. You can do it all night...

Keri laughs DL And one thing led to another... [Audience laughing] How are you celebrating Thanksgiving? What are you doing? Did you go to the big parade?

KR I didn't go to the parade. I'm here -- my brother came with me. This is only the second Thanksgiving I've been away from home. But it's nice to be in the city...

DL Where's home exactly?

KR I live in LA but my family lives in Texas now.

DL So you're here with your brother? And did you go to the parade?

KR I didn't and we just ended up walking around and -- tonight, we're going to dinner with some friends.

DL Well that sounds very nice.

KR Yeah...

DL And then you go right home? Back to work?

KR Yeah, back to work.

DL How's things on Felicity?

KR They're alright...just workin' and hangin' out...

DL Workin'? And hangin' out?

KR [laughing] Yeah...

DL What was the controversy about your hair? Did somebody cut your hair? Or somebody didn't cut your hair... What happened?

KR Yeah, I'm used to having long hair. It was big and curly, so I guess it was recognizable on the show. The college student -- she's a college student and she broke up with her boyfriend. And a very normal thing for a college girl to do -- she cut her hair.

DL People went nuts...

KR Crazy...yeah, crazy. People would stop me and were, like, "I can't believe you cut your hair!"

DL Exactly. That happens to me almost everyday.

KR Well, it looks nice.

DL Thank you very much. How short was it at its shortest?

KR It was, like, 1 1/2 off my head.

DL Really? So you got the ol' buzzaroo!

KR [laughing] Well, it was -- you know...I like it. I thought it was perfectly normal to do for a college girl.

DL Yeah...it seemed like it to me too. Sure, not that I was ever a college student. You've traveled lately. Been vacationing? Taking trips?

KR Yeah, over the summer. I don't own a house or a fancy car. I always take great trips.

DL Where did you go?

KR This summer, I went to Bali, which was really nice.

DL What do you do there?

KR It was kind of a nice place to vacation.

DL It's in the South Seas...South Pacific.

KR Indonesia, yeah.

DL Ah, small island? Big island?

KR Small island.

DL Is it an island nation? It occupies the land mass onto itself?

KR Yeah, I believe so...I believe so. Yes.

Audience laughs, claps DL And...and the people are very nice.

KR The people are very nice, and if you take the long trip getting there, the plane trip getting there -- it's really nice.

DL How long a flight is that?

KR I think it's a 16-hour flight, but...

DL Aw, man! You leave from LA and it takes 16 hours from California?

KR Yeah but, you know...apparently, you know, everyone I know takes these little sleeping pills and, um...and everyone tells you -- EVERYONE, all my friends, except for doctors, of course -- that you have a glass of wine with the sleeping pill. [Audience laughs] Yeah, that's what everyone says, on the plane, "Have a glass of wine, sleeping pill..." So I did it!

DL You take a glass of wine with sleeping pills.

KR I was fine. I woke up, I was in Taiwan. I was fine. On the way back --

DL That's happened to me before. [laughter] Take a sleeping pill, a little wine, next thing you know, you're in Taiwan looking for your bags! I was trying to get to Dayton. "What the hell happened here?!"

Audience laughs KR [laughs] ...but on the way back, same exact thing: wine, sleeping pill. Next thing I know, I'm about to fall asleep and I wake up and tap my traveling companion on the shoulder. And I'm just, like -- [shakes head] Got the bag, vomit all over. Got right back to sleep.

DL Ew! Wow!

KR ...Go back to sleep...go back to sleep. No recollection of it! KR I guess so. I guess it was a combination of all of it.

DL Oh my god! What did you do while you were in Bali? What was that like? What kind of activities?

KR You know, hanging out, being...you know...by the pool, swimming in the ocean. Stuff like that.

DL You can do that on the Jersey shore.

Audience laughs KR We've thought about it...

DL And so now, you go back and you go right back to work. Is that the deal?

KR Yeah, I do.

DL And anything you can tell us with what's going to happen on the show?

KR Aaah...I don't know what's going on these days...

DL Too many pills! Too much wine! Audience laughs

KR Hollywood E! True Story! Audience laughs, claps

DL Okay, are your teeth alright?

KR Yeah. The last time, you were having work done...

DL Oh yeah. I had some work done. Somebody had botched. The guy had "skewered" a nerve. It was the worst pain I experienced in my entire life!

KR And now, you go to...every Tuesday?

DL Every Tuesday, I go to the dentist.

KR Why?

DL Every Tuesday, I get my mouth pulled...

KR Why?!

DL They pull it. And technicians and hygienists come in, clean it individually, and they reinstall them.

Keri could only throw him a blank stare, still amazed

DL It's like having your tires rotated.

KR Dave...

DL When you're at my age, you gotta do it. But when I'm 80, by god, I'll have good-looking teeth to go with that hair. [picture a of white-haired David is shown] Audience laughs, claps

KR That's not good...

DL You have lovely teeth. Well, I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving.

KR Thanks!

DL Good luck, continued success in Felicity and your hair, BTW. Alright? [Keri laughs] Commercial break

DL You're certainly a lovely young woman. Are you married?

KR No, I'm not...

DL Have you been married? Do you have a boyfriend of some sort?

KR No, I don't.

DL How about that...

End of the show