Self Magazine Dec. 07 Interview

I hope you can talk a little about where you were born and raised, because I understand you really jumped around…

I moved around a lot. I was born in California. And then I moved to Arizona—I lived there for thirteen years, outside of Phoenix in a suburb. And then I spent my high school years in Colorado.

You became a public figure at a very young age, but what was your childhood like before that? Did you have different sorts of interests, and hopes, and aspirations?

It was pretty suburban, I guess. It was like, you know, playing for the softball team and running track. And then I got really involved in dance, and that was basically my main focus my early teenage years—I had scholarships to different dance studios. And that’s really how I got in the business. I, you know, went with some dance friends to an audition, which happened to be for The Mickey Mouse Club, and just happened to get it.

What was the experience of being on that show like? Obviously you were still very young, so I’m sure it wasn’t really Method acting…

Uh, no. [laughs] Yeah, it was really—you know, it was so cool. I loved it when I did it! I mean, it was like going to Fame High School or something, you know? I was, by far, the least talented there—I mean, people could sing like you can’t believe, they could do everything. I was, like, a pretty good dancer, and okay at some of the skits—it was like a little kids’ Saturday Night Live. You know, it’s funny because some of the people that were on that with me are still my best friends—one just got a huge law job, just graduated law school; and, you know, one just moved out here to L.A. It’s funny, you know? We’re all still friends.

[facetiously] What’s happened to some of those other people that were on the show?

I know! You mean the ones who are famous?

Yeah. You crossed paths with a lot of them, right?

Yeah. You know, the ones who are, kind of, most visible were the younger kids—you know, Christina Aguilera, and Justin Timberlake, and Britney Spears, and Ryan Gosling. But, you know, they were twelve when I was seventeen, so I was much cooler than they were—I could drive, for the love of God! You know what I mean? They were, like, the little kids. But, you know, I still them occasionally, in passing, at some awards show or something that we might all be at, and I definitely say hi, and it’s a trip! But, you know, I barely remember people when I was seventeen—I’m sure them, at twelve, they all have, like, no idea who I am, you know?

I think it was during The Mickey Mouse Club, or maybe during a hiatus from it, that you did your first film role in Honey, I Blew Up the Kid!

Yeah.

Did that require you to move out to Los Angeles?

No. Mickey Mouse Club shot at Disney World in Orlando, Florida—a dream come true for a kid. So what I would do— I was shooting Mickey Mouse Club at the same time, because Disney—they put you under a contract for everything. Like, literally, they make you sign your life away. You’re like, “I have no idea, but this sounds great!” And, like, if you record an album, or you make a movie, or you’re in a TV show, it all is inclusive—Disney has you. So I started that first year of The Mickey Mouse Club, and then they said, “You know, we have this movie we think we’d want you to do, too.” And what I’d do was I would shoot, Monday through Friday, the film in Los Angeles—I lived in an apartment with my mom—and then on Friday night fly the redeye back to Florida and shoot all day Saturday for The Mickey Mouse Club. And I remember—it’s so funny, you know—I think I must have been, like, fifteen, and although the movie probably was such a big deal, to be in a movie, I would cry when I had to leave The Mickey Mouse Club, because that’s where all the kids were, and that’s what I wanted to do. But, yeah, I did do that movie. I always forget about that! It’s funny.

I remember it!

It was a classic! [laughs]

But when you ultimately did move to Los Angeles—well, you’re not there anymore, so it wasn’t for good—but when you moved there, you had a pretty grueling transition, from what I understand, even to the extent of getting stomachaches… I’m trying to remember. I must have said this, clearly, in some interview. I don’t remember. Hmm. I mean, I don’t know. What did I say? I’m curious. [laughs]

Well, I could be wrong, too—sometimes people put stuff on the Internet that’s not true, as you can imagine… I’m sure it is true.

Well, they were just saying that when you first moved out there, you had some severe stomach aches, and people were worried that it was your appendix, or an ulcer, or something, but that it ultimately turned out to be stress-related…

Ohhh, right. Yeah. Okay, now I’m remembering when that was. That was after I’d been out there a couple of years. God, your youth is all so blurry—it’s so weird! Yeah, I mean, I moved out to L.A. at a really early age—I think I was, like, seventeen—and, you know, there is something funny about being a kid actor. I think it’s a really slippery slope, and I think it’s a really difficult job. It’s difficult to navigate it and to come out well—you know, unscathed. [laughs] Luckily, you know, I don’t regret my time at all, and I’m very grateful for my experience—I’ve been great places and seen cool things. But I think there’s something strange about, you know, having that much pressure at that young of an age. I mean, from the time I was fifteen, I was paying my own rent. And there’s something to be said for, you know, being a kid; and, like, sleeping in late; and slumber parties. And, granted, I was having these, you know, very eye-opening experiences in traveling all over the world, but I think it catches up with you at some point. And I think that break I took after Felicity was the best thing I could have done, because I don’t think I’d still be in the business otherwise. I think that was my way of, sort of, taking control over my life, and reassessing, and making sure I still wanted to do it.

To come back to one of the tenets of being a child actor, so often we hear about child actors who had parents who pushed them into careers and who look back with real regret about the childhood that they never had. You mentioned that you lived with your mother and that you don’t look back on your childhood acting career with regret. But what got you into it and what kept you doing it? Was it really your choice?

It was definitely my choice. My parents knew nothing about any of this stuff; they still really don’t—I mean, other than Access Hollywood stuff. You know, I just went with a bunch of my dance friends. I think I kind of got there, you know, by chance. So no, my parents, you know, didn’t really know much. I was just kind of dragging my mom along with me because when you’re a minor you have to have a parent. And what was cool, though, about doing The Mickey Mouse Club was my brother and sister—I’m the middle of three—when we were shooting in the summers at Disney World, they would come with us, so it was, kind of, the whole family, minus my dad staying back to work. And he would come out for part of the time. But it was great ‘cause we were at Disney World and we could get in for free everywhere! [laughs] So it wasn’t that bad. And it was definitely not like, you know, some of those situations which are really unfortunate where—then the little sister is in it, and then the next little brother is in it! You know? It definitely wasn’t that.

Another byproduct of starting so young is that you didn’t go through the formal training and all of that stuff. So how do you now, as a serious, mature, older actor, approach a part? We joked about the Method earlier, but people do have different techniques, and I wonder what yours is…

You know, it’s weird—I don’t exactly know a formula or how it all works. I can tell you that I do work before I’m in a movie. There are a few people that I sometimes work with and, kind of breaking it down, discuss characters. But, really, for me, it’s about connecting to the story—like, I never choose my part by saying, like, “Oh, I wanna play a drug dealer! Let’s do that.” You know? I’d rather be a smaller part in a really great story than, you know, the lead of something that’s just, like, kind of okay. So I guess that’s more of my method. I just want to fall in love with the story. I love to read books, and I would say I just want it to read like a good book. And I want to be a part of that book, kind of. You know, it’s funny, I’ve been doing a lot of work with Fox Searchlight, whose been helping on the Waitress stuff. And I just feel, like, I’m so glad that Peter Rice and they are around, because finally people are making those good movies! I mean, if you look back, every good movie I’ve liked in the last couple of years they’ve released. It’s so cool!

Before there were movies in your life, aside from the kiddie cameo type of parts, there was obviously television and the role that really introduced you to the public in Felicity. I’m interested to know how you first learned about the part, and also how you found out you had won it. From the homework I did in advance of this, I understand there is an interesting story about the night you got the news…

Okay, I’ll try to remember. I think I sort of know what you’re talking about. I auditioned for Felicity with—I’m not kidding—there were, like, fifty girls waiting around. I actually called my manager and I said, you know, “There are like thirty girls here! Should I just go home? I mean, this is crazy!” ‘Cause normally, you know, you have a time slot—you know, you’re at three-thirty, and the next person’s, like, at three-forty-five or four. I mean, people were like sitting in the hallway around the elevator. I mean, it was crazy. But I thought that story was so special. It’s still one of my favorite stories. I think it’s so funny and sad, all at once, and you so feel for this girl. I thought, “It’s one of the best unrequited love stories I’ve read in a long, long time.” And I still! So I went in, and auditioned, and thankfully happened to get it, which I’m so happy about. I mean, J.J. and Matt are still—we’re always talking about doing something together. Oh! I think that night—I think what you’re referring to is I was, like, scared. I felt like if I got it, you know, my life was gonna change, and if I didn’t get it I think I would be really sad, so I went and sat at a restaurant by myself [laughs], and ordered, like, a giant steak, and ate it, and then when I got done there was a voicemail saying, “You got the part.” [laughs]

It seems to me that the underlying thing that came out of that experience that might still have a lingering effect on you is the way that the media covered you. Even at the age of twenty-three, when you started out, you were dissected—almost like under a microscope—up to and including the Felicityhaircut controversy, which was unbelievable. I wonder if that has resulted in you making a decision over the time since to try to avoid the limelight, in terms of the roles you select, and who you associate with, and even where you live—you’re not in Hollywood; you’re pretty far removed. So, basically, having experienced the peaks of this whole celebrity culture in which we live, you have chosen, it seems, to move away from it. Has that been a conscious move?

Yeah. I mean, you know, it’s definitely not a natural thing to, you know, I don’t know, be going out for coffee and have someone taking your photo. [laughs] I mean, that is not natural for anyone, I don’t think. It’s also not the most natural thing to have to go on talk shows, and try to be funny, and tell a story that you’ve just told three times in a row backstage to the producer, and then they’re like, “I’m gonna say, ‘Your dog did the thing…’ and then you tell the funny joke!” You know, you sort of feel like a four year old. They’re like, “Do the trick! Do the trick!”

A dog and pony show…

Yeah, a little bit. So I don’t think that’s natural for anyone. I think the shift for me has been—in the beginning, especially with the popularity of Felicity, it was all new to me, and I just wanted to do everything well. Like, as a little overachiever, I just wanted to do it well. And, you know, I found that I was so incredibly nervous doing those things that if I felt like I wasn’t doing it well, then I would beat myself up. And a good friend of mine—a really good friend who’s one of my best girlfriends— I remember, there was a specific show that I went on, and I think I was actually so nervous I actually cried on the show—not like “Ahhh” cried, but you know when you’re smiling, and you’re just overwhelmed, and a tear kind of slips out? And I was just, like, “Oh, God!” And I was mortified that I had failed and done a bad job. And my girlfriend said, “You know, I just saw so-and-so”—another actor—“and they looked so nervous, and it made me like them! Because I thought, ‘I would be nervous on that show! That must be so uncomfortable.’” And, you know, it took me kind of a while to learn that, but I’ve, sort of, embraced that. I’ve sort of been like, “Yeah, you know, it’s okay.” Very few people—like, let’s say comedians or something—are good at doing all that stuff. And very few people are perfect at, you know, walking out to go get coffee and getting their photo taken. [laughs] And so I think I’ve relaxed back into the fact that, you know, I’m not good at those things. And that’s okay. And, actually, I like people who are, you know, embarrassed by all that stuff. [laughs] And it’s okay, ‘cause what I really do isn’t bad. And, yeah, my husband is a carpenter, and he’s not in the business, which I love—I mean, I love taking him places with me. I know I’ve said this before, but it just cracks me up, ’cause he really did say it—we were on the most giant press tour for Mission Impossible, flying private jets all over Europe, and I got to bring someone, so I brought Shane, instead of bringing like—there were other people with makeup artists and stylists. And I was like, “I’m bringing Shane!” And all Shane just kept saying was, [whispers] “There’s free food here! There’s amazing free food!” I was like, “Shane, we’re on a private jet. Like, there’s gonna be a lot of free food.” [laughs] You know, we’re with Tom Cruise, okay, in Rome, and he’s like, “But it’s so good! This is amazing!” And that makes it so much more fun, to be around those kind of people—if I ever have a premiere or something, I like to bring, you know, my friend’s nephew, or someone who’s really gonna think it’s cool, because it’s such a bore for us who have to go them all the time! So it’s fun to, like, see it through someone else, I guess. But, yeah, I mean, I do live in Brooklyn, and I do have friends that aren’t in the business, and I just think that— There’s no wrong or right. I just think that’s what’s comfortable for me.

I want to ask you about your recent performance as Jenna in Waitress. How did you first learn about the script and what appealed to you about it?

It just got sent to me the very generic, boring way. I read it. It was just fresh—like, I hadn’t read something like that in a long time. I loved the irreverence about pregnancy. It completely cracked me up. And, at the same time, I think Adrienne really got that small southern town; I really liked that. I’ve lived, for short times, in small southern towns like that, and really got those women. And, then on the other end of it, there were such beautiful, touching moments that really hit me. And I think she did such a nice job of combining those two, and I think created a movie that I feel like Australians have made for years—you know, like Strictly Ballroom—that are so wacky, and then really true at the same time. So it was a nice mix, and I immediately liked it.

The film was shot in only twenty days. What was that like? That’s gotta have been hectic as hell…

It was crazy. There wasn’t a lot of prep time, there was definitely not a lot of, like, “Let’s spend three days learning how to make pies!” It was like, “You have two shots at this scene. Let’s go!” You know? And that’s one thing that was really different from doing, you know, TV to shooting a film in twenty days. You know, with TV you have the wide-shot, then you get the two-shot, then you get the close-up, and then maybe that other person’s close-up, and then they turn around on you—and you have all this time to, sort of, feel out the scene, and, “Oh, that person’s gonna do that? Okay, then I’m gonna add this to it.” And, you know, Waitress? It’s like, “No, this scene we’re only shooting your close-up, nothing else.” And you’re like, “Okay, I have two shots at this. Here we go!” So you, kind of, just throw it up against the wall and see what sticks. And this one worked.

There really seemed to be a believable sisterhood among you and your fellow waitresses, Cheryl Hines and Adrienne Shelley. What was your relationship with them like when you weren’t filming? And what was Adrienne like as a director, as well?

Hanging out on set was so fun. I mean, we would all be sitting around telling baby stories. Cheryl would be in the middle of something so funny— I have such a girl crush on Cheryl Hines; I love her, love her. Her husband is equally as funny, And she would be telling some funny story, or telling me about being pregnant, and it’d be in the middle of it, and they’re like, [quietly] “You guys, we’re about to shoot the scene.” And I’m like, “But Cheryl’s not done with her story! Wait! Wait!” You know, I was just with her last night, and she’s so funny, and so great, and refreshing in this business—I love her. Anyway. And Adrienne, as a director? I can honestly say I’ve never worked with someone who is more specific about what they wanted. And there is something funny about actors who then direct. [laughs] There’s, sort of, this, like, director thing with actors where they, kind of, like, treat you with kid gloves—they’re like, [whispers] “You know, really, for this one, maybe—maybe think about it like this.” [reassumes regular voice] And, you know, I find that actors who direct, they’re like, [speaks loud and fast] “Okay, stop doing the thing with your hands! It’s driving me crazy. Like, don’t do that! And don’t do that thing with your voice either. Like, I just don’t like it. Okay, go!” [laughs, reassumes regular voice] You know? Because there, like, is nothing precious about it. There’s nothing secret about what you’re doing. They’ve done it, and they’re like, “This is what I want.” So I think there is, sort of, that shorthand, and the less, kind of, touchy-feely thing.

Waitressaddresses a number of issues that you almost never see in films: the loveless marriage; the abusive relationship; what appears to be depression that she’s experiencing; and, obviously, the fact that she is one of these many people you hear about every presidential campaign who is hardworking but still is not making enough to get by. I’m not necessarily implying that you had to have been a feminist to make this film, but was it a consideration that you would be able to address issues like these that don’t really pop up in many scripts?

Yeah, I mean, I definitely think she had feminist, you know, tendencies. That being said, you know, it’s really funny, too—I think it’s all tongue-in-cheek. But there is something in there, like the weight behind it. And I do think she did raise a lot of those issues, especially with the poverty. I mean, I didn’t grow up with a lot of money, and there was a certain scene that, kind of, got cut, a few lines where she says to the doctor, you know, like, “Have you ever been poor?” And he says, “Well, I’ve been broke,” you know, after college. And she’s like, “Yeah, that’s different than poor. Broke is different. Poor means having no options.” And I think it’s easy, when you’re poor, to, you know, stay in bad things. And you’re right—I mean, you talk about politics, and we just haven’t figured it out yet; we have so many poor people. But, anyway, having spent some time in those kinds of situations, it raises a very different dynamic.

In another interview, you talked about the profession of being a waitress, and you made some interesting observations about the people who wind up serving in that capacity…

There is something fascinating. It can be a very temporary job—I feel like you can pick up and be a waitress at any point, anywhere. And diners are full of these single moms who are, like, floating. And, you know, it’s just a temporary fix, sometimes, that job, which lends itself to having a lot of fascinating characters rich with stories, especially in those small towns. And, you know, L.A. isn’t the normal, but those smaller towns, those people are really endlessly interesting, so yeah, I think it was very fitting.

My only criticism about the movie is that us men don’t come across that well as a gender! Obviously, Andy Griffith and your love interest have some redeeming qualities, but basically the men are either mentally or physically abusive, and/or cheating on their significant others, and/or complete nerds…

[laughs] That’s interesting! I mean, I guess that would be more of an Adrienne answer. You know, I hear what you’re saying with that. But the one thing I will say, in speaking about that, is even though the bad husband, for instance, is so bad, I thought she did such a nice job at the end, like, when you just really think he’s gonna beat the **** out of her in that moment, and he just ends up crying and being pathetic, like a sad little needy boy. I think she did a nice job of rounding out all those characters because, you know, that’s not what you expect. And, ultimately, everyone has a story. So, yeah, the men are kind of bad, but it’s funny, and it’s true. [laughs]

I’m sorry to end on a sad note, but many people learn only after seeing the film what happened to Adrienne. For those who will be reading this and are not yet aware of the tragedy that took place, can you, sort of, boil down what happened, how you heard the news, and how you’ve managed to face screenings and questions about the film since? I’ve heard that you and Cheryl made something of a resolution that you were going to have to, so why not be positive about it, and try to make sure that good things come out of it, like The Adrienne Shelley Foundation…

So, yeah, we made this film; you know, we were a couple days away from hearing about getting into Sundance—we were all waiting around that week; and then, yeah, I got this phone call—I was living in New York and got the phone call with the awful news that she’d been killed. And I don’t even know—I mean, still, it’s a really hard thing to articulate. All I can tell you is the only thing I know I felt and feel is utter shock. I mean, it’s shocking when someone, you know, that you know, and who you’d spent time with their husband and their three-year-old little girl, who is in the movie—you know, it’s really upsetting. And it’s so unfair—it’s the only word that can do it justice. It’s so unfair knowing how hard it is for a woman filmmaker to make a movie, then to be basically the toast of Sundance, and to not get to be there to live it up. And, I promise you, she would have eaten that **** up! I mean, that was so her—she would have been ****ing on fire! [laughs] She would have been, like, at everything, you know what I mean? She was not a wallflower. So it’s really upsetting and unfair to know that. The thing that Cheryl and I did say—that we spoke about—was that it is really a hopeful movie and that we were gonna, you know, try to enjoy it and celebrate her, instead of, you know, not talking about it and, you know, not doing press ‘cause it’s so uncomfortable and upsetting, but, you know celebrating her. And, yes, some of the good that’s come out of it is her husband, Andy, has created The Adrienne Shelley Foundation, which supports women filmmakers. And I’m on the Advisory Board, and we’ve already raised so much money, and given all sorts of grants through Columbia, and AFI, and all sorts of things. And, actually, Adrienne has left behind countless scripts, and one of the scripts—called Serious Moonlight—Andy, her husband, and Michael Roiff, who produced Waitress, have asked Cheryl Hines to direct, and she’s starting next month!

Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that!

[giggles] Yeah, it’s a huge thing, so it’s really cool! So, you know, a lot of good has come out of it.